negative love is not hate
The existence of this thought took me at least a decade to see in blood. It is a trait more prevalent among parents, but it is seen in all types of relationships. The reason why negative love is so hard to see sometimes is because it is one of those shadowy ideas that don't become obvious until they become a distant memory.
A lot of people today have a hard time dealing with emotions. Our world has evolved into a very rational and modern society. A lot of us believe that you can perfectly explain every occurence in this world through some sort of mathematical or hypothetical logic. Some schools of thought believe that our emotional nature is some sort of flaw or byproduct on the way to evolving to think. Everyone tries to predict wars, world series, presidential elections in some sort of statisical way. One reason why these things dont always work is because it completely ignores people's tendency to be emotional. And in today's vocabulary, emotional and irrational are closley associated.
So, for some people a way to not look irrational is to launder their emotional self onto others. Pyschologists like to call this transferrence. We use our pent up feelings of disappointment, sadness, and anger onto others to dissapate the pain. Some people blow up often and some are more explosive. This is the negative of negative love.
The love part of negative love is seen in the basic intent of the relationship. Parents want to give their children a good life, friends want to help each other out, mentors want to pass on knowledge to his students. And for most people there needs to be a reason or something unique about a person to maintain that relationship. Parents see hope in their children, friends usually have something in common, mentors choose worthy students.
We choose who we love, who we give attention to, who we share our money with, but we also need a reason to share ourselves with you. And at the end of the day, most of us just want to help you become better. So the combination of the negative and the love leads to some very confusing moments.
There are many people who deal only with negative love. They expect perfection, everything you do can be better, and you begin to wonder if they even care for you. The longer the pattern exists, the longer the thoughts of dissent grow. Only if you can disembed yourself from the moment, can you realize that that person chose you for a reason. And in a weird way, they are showing that they actually have hope in you because if they didnt, they wouldn't waste their time on you. The intent and the action have such opposing flavors, but when we think back on the relationship can we finally see the love.
Negative love is when the moment is negative and evolves into love as a memory.
A lot of people today have a hard time dealing with emotions. Our world has evolved into a very rational and modern society. A lot of us believe that you can perfectly explain every occurence in this world through some sort of mathematical or hypothetical logic. Some schools of thought believe that our emotional nature is some sort of flaw or byproduct on the way to evolving to think. Everyone tries to predict wars, world series, presidential elections in some sort of statisical way. One reason why these things dont always work is because it completely ignores people's tendency to be emotional. And in today's vocabulary, emotional and irrational are closley associated.
So, for some people a way to not look irrational is to launder their emotional self onto others. Pyschologists like to call this transferrence. We use our pent up feelings of disappointment, sadness, and anger onto others to dissapate the pain. Some people blow up often and some are more explosive. This is the negative of negative love.
The love part of negative love is seen in the basic intent of the relationship. Parents want to give their children a good life, friends want to help each other out, mentors want to pass on knowledge to his students. And for most people there needs to be a reason or something unique about a person to maintain that relationship. Parents see hope in their children, friends usually have something in common, mentors choose worthy students.
We choose who we love, who we give attention to, who we share our money with, but we also need a reason to share ourselves with you. And at the end of the day, most of us just want to help you become better. So the combination of the negative and the love leads to some very confusing moments.
There are many people who deal only with negative love. They expect perfection, everything you do can be better, and you begin to wonder if they even care for you. The longer the pattern exists, the longer the thoughts of dissent grow. Only if you can disembed yourself from the moment, can you realize that that person chose you for a reason. And in a weird way, they are showing that they actually have hope in you because if they didnt, they wouldn't waste their time on you. The intent and the action have such opposing flavors, but when we think back on the relationship can we finally see the love.
Negative love is when the moment is negative and evolves into love as a memory.
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